Couples on Marriage and Finances
Money, the root of all evil, symbolizes status, security and capability. Fact is, even if it is not important to you, you need it, the reason that you come to work every day and the tool that helps you to live. Studies show, seven out of ten couples fight over money. In the Philippines there has been an increase of marriages gone wrong, as relived by movies and TV shows, having money problems as the biggest contributor. And you know why? Because we rarely talk about it, as a family we always see the head of the house the provider and just wait for the money to come in.
Some pointers for couples’ finance management:
Goals Establishing even before the Marriage
Talking about finances is both challenging and stressful, but this is why should talk about it because if you don’t it will bring you more trouble. I know everyone would agree with me that it makes perfect sense that for you to be guided, you must have a vision. Establishing your goals can help you plan your way to get there. If your goal is as simple as living your marriage, debt free and have all your kids finished college with successful careers while living comfortably in the city or in the province, you can have it. It is not impossible!
Traditionally, budgeting is done by the woman of the house but how about if the husband is the one doing all the budgeting since he is better at doing it. Remember that you are a team here! Both of you should be involved with the family finances; you cannot let him or her do all the work. One can do the budgeting and the other one can track the expenses. As they say, two heads is better than one.
As a Couple you are equals
If Jun earns P30, 000 and Jane earns P20, 000, Jun has to make sure that he shares 60% to the family’s expenses and Jane shares 40%. Who earns bigger must not be an issue in the family finances. Couples should have an equal say on what direction to take the family to, what to prioritize, how much to save and what expenses to cut on.
Marriage is always about sticking to each other at the end, no matter what happens. By opening up to your spouse of the things that bothers you financially or not, you could explore options that you can both work on. It is by good communication that great things are built.
Go to a counselor or to a common friend for advice if the two of you cannot agree on an issue. Do not let the argument stay with you overnight, but never ask for your relative’s take on the issue, it is but natural that there is bias. For the Pinoy, marriage is a sacred event, a union of two souls, found by love and tied to forever with their clan. I am not saying that this is bad, but you should if you can’t agree on an issue, it is always best to hear an independent take on the issue.